3 Ways to Help Separate Being a Friend and Being a Boss
Posted March 19th, 2019
Since most professionals spend more than a third of their weekdays (and sometimes much longer) at work, it is only natural to become friends with some of your colleagues. However, when you are a manager, you do need to be able to separate friendship from the equation at times. Otherwise, you may struggle to perform as an effective leader.
Striking a balance between being a friend and being a boss is tricky, but it can be done. If you want to make sure you are walking the line properly, here are some ideas that can help.
Make Logical, Not Emotional, Decisions
When you are friends with some members of your team, but not others, you may have a tendency to favor those with whom you have a closer connection. As a result, you may offer more exciting and beneficial projects or opportunities to those you like, and that is not always the best approach.
First, favoritism breeds resentment among the remainder of your staff. Second, you might not be making choices based on each person’s capabilities. Instead, you are favoring the relationship.
In order to avoid this issue, you need to make sure that your decisions are based on logic and not emotionally connections. This increases the odds that you will be fair and respect the capabilities of every member of your team.
Focus on Creating Opportunities for Success
Everyone wants their friends to do well. If you are a manager, this means you may be inclined to overlook problems caused by employees with whom you have a closer relationship. Plus, you could inadvertently be harder on the team members with whom you don’t share a friendship, and that can create a divide between coworkers.
However, if you focus on creating opportunities for everyone to succeed, you can overcome this problem. Typically, this involves providing realistic and constructive feedback that is oriented to learning and guiding each employee. This allows you to discuss issues while maintaining a helpful mindset. After all, when everyone is at their best, the group benefits, so it is always wise to use this approach with every staff member.
Separate the Personal and Professional
When you are friends with a team member, you may put inappropriate expectations on the worker based on the personal connection. This could involve anything from asking them to handle something that is outside of the scope of their position, like a favor that makes your personal life easier, or a reluctance to correct their behavior in the workplace because you don’t mind it outside of the office, even if it is not proper in a professional environment.
Ultimately, you have to understand that your personal expectations can’t impact your professional ones. All workers need to be held to the same standards when at work, so letting an off-color joke slide or asking them to pick up your dry cleaning while they are on the clock is not acceptable. If you need to gauge whether you are allowing the personal connection to affect how you treat them, consider if you would let another team member to do the same thing or if you would make that request of another employee. If the answer is no, then you need to set boundaries with your friend and make sure that they know you have the same professional expectations of them as you do everyone else.
Do You Have HR Questions? Contact Bayside Solutions!
By following the tips above, you can separate being a friend and being a boss. If you would like to learn more, the professionals at Bayside Solutions can help. Contact us to discuss your questions with a member of our knowledgeable staff today and see how our management expertise can benefit you.
